God Rest Ye Scary Gentlemen
by Light Derived from Darkness
Summary: Otogi, Honda, and Seto are all determined to purchase the perfect Christmas gift for Shizuka, but discover they aren’t the only ones hoping to win her heart…then it becomes a full-out, blood-and-guts competition! The question is, who will win?


S **Summary: **Otogi, Honda, and Seto are all determined to purchase the most spectacular Christmas gift for Shizuka, and discover that they aren't the only ones hoping to win her heart…then it becomes a full-out, blood-and-guts competition! The question is, who will win?

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh or anything in association to it. If I did, I would have made this an episode already…

**_God Rest Ye Scary Gentlemen_**

"No way am I gonna let you find a better gift than me! I have the finances of my company to back me up, while you probably have pocket change left over from your allowance," Otogi hissed at Honda, who was currently looking prepared to rip the Christmas teddy bear in his hands in half.

"I promised to make Shizuka my girl before you even knew her! Since when do you have the right to move in and try to take her from me?" Honda shouted back, gaining the attentions of several people around them as he looked ready to attack Otogi in an instant.

"Take her from you? Funny, she's never once told me you're her boyfriend, making her fair game!"  
"You act like this is some sort of sick challenge you're undertaking. Shizuka deserves better than you, and that's why _I'm_ going to impress her with the most wonderful Christmas gift imaginable!"

"Not if I get it first, and I indefinitely will. Unlike pitiful _commoners_ like you, I have one of these," Otogi said, whipping out a credit card and then dashing into the nearest store, searching hastily for the most tackily beautiful item that came in sight. He finally spotted a porcelain doll at the back of the store that bore a certain resemblance to her, and automatically knew it was perfect. Shoving anyone that got into his path away, he finally made it to the back of the shop, reaching up for it.

Except at the same moment, another hand grabbed the base of the doll as well.

"You'd better let go before I take that arm of yours with me," Honda scowled at him, and suddenly it was a ruthless game of tug-of-war as both of them grasped the metal stand to which the doll was bound. They used every tactic imaginable attempting to remove it from the other, until finally the battle came to an end when the metal stand broke apart and the doll fell to the floor, shattering upon contact with it.

The owner immediately began to claw his way through the masses of customers in his shop, and Otogi was surprised to find Honda laughing softly even with the dire situation they had gotten themselves into.

"Well, _this_ commoner doesn't have enough to actually pay for that. Good luck!" Honda shouted, sprinting away just as the owner confronted Otogi, who was so angry he looked prepared to erupt at any moment.

"Honda Hiroto! I swear you'll pay for this, and I don't mean out of your wallet!" Otogi shouted after him, but Honda was clear across the mall by that time, snickering on how he had been able to get away unscathed.

He spotted a store up ahead that sold women's clothing and headed in that direction, humming triumphantly to himself and accidentally bumping into another customer already entering the store.

"Oh, sorry about that…" he began, looking up to see the last person on earth he could have ever imagined entering a women's clothing store. "Kaiba?"  
He had never seen Seto look so embarrassed in all the times they had been around one another. Two hulking bodyguards were to his sides, carrying his already purchased items. Most of the bags were marked from toy stores, obviously the gifts he was getting Mokuba for Christmas.

"What're you looking at?" Seto spat, though he sounded more fearful than angry. Honda suddenly put on a cunning smile, as though he knew something when he actually didn't.

"Kaiba you sly dog, you got a lady friend you're buying for? How come we've never met her?" Tristan inquired, only to watch Seto erupt just as Otogi had earlier, only with about ten times the intensity.

"Of course not you idiot!" he shouted, and Honda backed away a bit, shivering with the viciousness of his tone of voice.

"Oh, well I guess that means you're buying for yourself then…" was his next remark, and a big mistake considering he had already gotten Seto inexplicably mad for some unknown reason.

"I am not a cross-dresser!" he shouted, and this time the entire mall drew it's attention to them. Neither of them could have gotten anymore red, but while Honda remained frozen Seto stomped into the store, looking prepared to have smoke fume from his ears.

Honda quickly caught up, having not quite caught on that Seto wasn't one to be conversing with right now. "So I guess you're attempting to impress a girl? It's nothing to be ashamed of, in fact I'm here for that exact reason as well!"

Seto seemed to calm a bit with this realization, no longer feeling so foolish considering the entirely female population of this store. He sighed and answered, "Yes, I am buying for a girl I am hoping to impress. Are you happy now?"

"That's awesome Kaiba! I always knew there had to be some form of hormones in there somewhere. So who's the luc…er…girl?" Honda asked, watching as he stopped, suddenly glowing at even deeper shade of red than before. He tugged on the collar of his undershirt as though it were a hundred degrees in the room.

"It's…er…I haven't told anyone, not even Mokuba, about this," Seto said, keeping his voice low as though it were an exchange of dangerous importance. "I've had a weakness for Jounouchi's sister for quite some time, and thought this would be the best time to reveal my feelings."

Honda froze, biting his lower lip. "You mean…you have the hots for Shizuka?"

"Well, I wouldn't have put it that way…yes," Seto answered, and Honda's mouth looked prepared to drop to the floor.

"But you can't have a crush on her! I was planning on doing the same thing you are for her, and…"

"Me as well," Otogi said from behind, storming into the store with a look of pure hatred on his face. "If you think I'm going to let either of you win her over before I can, you've got another thing coming!"

"I think the two of you have forgotten that, due to the gross product that Kaiba Corp. has been enjoying for the past few months, I have a veritable endless supply of cash at my disposal," Seto Kaiba remarked, looking incredibly angered by this sudden development.

"Oh yeah? Well I have…coupons!" Honda retaliated rather hesitantly, and as he expected he only got two mean smirks from both Otogi and Kaiba. His bank account was looking an empty as the Sahara right about now.

"I say let the best man win, and don't worry guys, I'll take care of her unlike the two of you," Otogi said, and now it was both Seto and Honda mimicking the actions of the others as they clenched their fists and gritted their teeth angrily.

"We're not going to get anywhere standing here. I have to find the perfect gift, as well as before either of you two morons do as well," Seto hissed, and their argument would have continued if not for the clothing rack that suddenly went by.

All of them could recall Shizuka's favorite color off hand. Pink, as was typical of many girls. Upon the rack was a dress that Jounouchi had remarked that Shizuka wanted like nothing else, a formal dress the exact shade of pink she loved. The Perfect pink. The Perfect Gift.

Thus, it turned into an all-out race, and Seto Kaiba had the lead of course because he had been closer.

"I ain't lettin' you get that dress!" Honda shouted, suddenly tackling the CEO even with his bodyguards suddenly coming over to pry him off. This gave Otogi the lead now, and before the store worker could even react Otogi lunged onto the rack, and it was speeding down the walkway with him standing on the end, grinning back at the defeated.

"I guess being a sucker doesn't depend upon your socio-economical status!" he shouted back, only to turn around and find the rack crash into the far wall. An explosion of clothes went everywhere, and in the blink of an eye he was buried from head to toe in anything from enormous prom dresses to negligees. An embarrassing situation to say the least.

Seto and Honda lunged into the pile however, and everyone in the store was now watching with intent expressions as the three teenagers attempted to locate the flawless garment from within the heap of clothing articles. A few of the girls giggled at them, but only Honda had the shortest attention span to blush and wave back before spotting the dress amongst the others and reaching down at the speed of light to grab it.

Right at the same instant as the others. All with a hand gripping some part of it they tugged and warred over who would have it they kicked and used their free hands to combat the others.

Finally they found themselves wrapped in it, yanked in a tangle that couldn't broken until the store manager finally came forward and cut them free. By the end of the entire battle, all of them were tired and their wallets all but empty for both the perfect dress they had ruined as well as the others they had wrestled in.

"Well, that didn't get us anywhere…" Honda muttered as they exited the store, all with their heads hung in shame to having not bested the others, when suddenly Otogi lifted his head and looked off into the distance with a shocked expression.

"What's come over you?" Seto asked, and all Otogi did was point.

There she was, Shizuka Jounouchi, the damsel naïve to the fact that they had just been killing one another over a dress to give to her. Only she was with someone, and their mouths this time all dropped squarely to the floor when they saw who it was.

"Yugi you traitor!" Honda half-shouted, and this time none of the passerby paid any attention. They seemed to have grown weary of these continuous outbursts.

"I can't believe we were just fighting over that hideous dress in front of all those people, and she's already with that little dwarf…" Seto said loathingly, beginning to stalk away with a storm cloud hanging over his head. His bodyguards followed after, already fearing the verbal torment they would suffer when they reached the compound once again.

"I give up on women. We scrimp and we save to get them pretty baubles and then they go and date someone half their size…" Otogi muttered unhappily at the same moment, sulking and slowly trudging away with the most defeated expression imaginable.

Only Honda was left staring, having not blinked nor moved since they had first spotted their one true love walking hand in hand with someone else. Honda finally sighed, and stood straight once more, as though some sort of weight had been lifted away.

"Well, I suppose it's never too late to buy something for Anzu instead!" he said excitedly.

"Not if I do first!" Otogi and Seto both shouted at once.


End file.
